Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Flux and Flight

Hi! So, recently I've had about 6 life altering things happen all at once. It hasn't been altogether terrible; aspects of each have been amazing and beautiful and really good for me as a woman because I've had to grow and 'get better' at numerous things in a short amount of time. Often whilst under considerable pressure and whilst being observed by others fairly consistently; and I'm proud to say that I've thrived and blossomed in numerous ways. In other ways, I've been a stressed-out, coffee-slurping, sleep-deprived, fear-ridden vixen, who has been lax with responding to friends, and has felt like the whole world has been waiting for, and watching her every move. Also - there's been this sense that I'm being pushed to play some unseen, un-knowable game, which I must excel at and beat everyone else, except I don't know how many people I'm up against. I've been a bit temperamental and difficult to my loved ones.
Until yesterday when things felt like they perceptively shifted inside me. I think I've actually stressed myself out. I think I got to the end of it. It's sort of gone now; or at least, in it's place seems to be this fired-up, rejuvenated, new confidence in myself. I think I grew a lot in a short amount of time. I really believed that I was fragile, and breakable as china, but I'm actually not. There's this internal semi-recklessness; I feel like I'm about to do something really worthwhile, and, maybe, something really great. I can only conclude that I needed to learn, again, that courage, fortitude and determination, are virtues that are very precious to me.

1 comment:

StrangeBird said...

Superb! So pleased you have risen with such confidence :)

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