R: Hi! (Passes over unsealed post box to DISGRUNTLED AUST POST EMPLOYEE)
D.A.P.E: (Picks up box and is promptly covered in glorious glitter which spills enthusiastically from the seams)... Aw, what!?? You know... Awww look! Awww its everywhere now!
R: ummmm, yes, would you mind taping it up please?
D.A.P.E: (Acting like the glitter was actually acid and I had attempted to maim her person)... this is really bad!!
R: (Straightens back, puts both hands on counter and allows voice to become sickly sweet) No... it's actually a gift.
D.A.P.E: (Registers the challenge and backs down to just being 'sniffy') Well, it's just that... you know... like, it's all over me, and we could consider this a suspicious package.
D.A.P.E: Because it's leaking and I don't know what's in it and its gone everywhere on me and that's really bad, and we may not deliver it you know.
R: It's GLITTER!!!
D.A.P.E: Like I said, in the future, I'd advise you to re-think it.
R: Oh (realising I need her to actually post it)... ok, well I'm sorry, but it's for my beloved friend and she's broken both her arms and both her legs and her house fell down and I guess I just got carried away... wont happen again.
And that's how I found out the nasty truth about the glitter police.