Dear Ray Lamontagne,
Your beard drives me insane (rhyming - makes it more heartfelt). In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion that if we were ever to meet, I would have to try incredibly hard not to do something really creepy (like, say, stroke your beard). I would never actually do that (unless you begged me to), but I'm just saying that I would definintely want to. Where was I going with this? That's right...
Last night you were in my dreams again. You make such regular appearances its like the flipping "Ray Lamontagne Half-Hour" or something. I was just wondering if next time you might, ummm, stay a little longer? Like, all night? I'm really very pleasant company (especially when I'm unconscious) and I'd do my best to entertain you with witty banter and
massages reading aloud.
You sure are something to see, Ray! And, Dad always said to me (often in exasperation) "You are a job for a man on a horse, not a monkey on a stick" and, well, I think you might be a 'man on a horse'!!!
Basically, all I want to do is sit on your lap and make you laugh for awhile - surely that's not the worst offer you've ever been made??